Fifth-plateau.org: because dead people are cool! [link]

The Olympic Torch apparently goes through the last city the Olympics were held at, and then it'll go to Atlanta, blah blah. One interesting thing was the mailboxes along the street were blocked off this morning. The War on Terror has finally managed to totally piss me off.

But... but... Isn't the tradition to run the Olympic torch from Olympia to the site of the Olympics? And since that site this year is ATHENS, why the hell are they poncing around all over the world with it?

Fuck the Olympic Torch and its traffic flow inhibiting properties.

A journalist, speaking to voters with incredulity: "Up until now, people were looking for bold leadership, honesty, a vision for the future. And yet they're all talking policy. Is that where the Democratic nominee is going to go, rather than focusing on attributes, they re going to focus on policy?" [link]

Bush's approval ratings are slipping because he's not showing Americans what they want. They don't want to hear about war politics, they want to see blood -- he sold us a war and he hasn't delivered the gore! Maybe he plans to revive support by firing on the RNC protestors in Manhattan come August?

Amusing emails I've received in the past 6 months. Also other stuff. [link]

The tactics of conquest are the only ones that will work, but are unacceptable to us and conterproductive to our long-term goal of engaging Muslims. The conclusion is obvious to anyone willing to accept hard facts: conventional military force is simply not the right weapon for the war on terror. [link]

I love this image so much. A Bush supporter who's trying to look like he's jabbed out his own eyes with American flags. I think they should use it in an ad. [link]

These guys pretend to honor military virtues and then spend their airtime trashing a guy who volunteered for duty in Vietnam and was genuinely heroic under fire while he was there. They should be ashamed of themselves. [link]

Having Fox News in your life is like having a rich boyfriend who's too Episcopalian to demand a handjob!

The HIV clinic where I work doesn't accept patients who have health insurance. We're in service for people who have no other options--not Medicaid, not Medicare, not anything. So imagine my surprise when someone came into my office today who has a full-time job. She works 40 hours a week at WalMart. [link]

Dubya and Bar(bara Bush) were having a religious argument one day. Dubya believed that non-Christians all went to hell. Bar disagreed, and eventually speed-dialled Billy Graham to settle this. Graham warned them not to assume God's place and judge their fellow man. [link]

On "The Swan:" I'm convinced Hitler didn't die in 1945, but is working as a Fox programming executive. Only an SS officer could feel comfortable with a show where breaking down humans, encouraging their insecurities, and then carving them up like a turkey is the primary attraction. [link]

Although he likes to talk about how he's a born-again Christian, the President seems to have his own ideas about theology. In a speech yesterday, Bush declared that Iraqi insurgents "have no soul." In the past, he has said the same of the terrorists involved in the Bali bombing, and Osama bin Laden. [link]

Rush Limbaugh asserted on Wednesday that if John Kerry wins the Presidency, the Clintons will assassinate him in order to ensure that Hillary can run in 2008. [link]

Just invaded a country that doesn't really want you there and your Government Issues are scared shitless of going into the danger zones? Why not outsource your military forces? Blackwater USA: WHERE THE PROFESSIONALS TRAIN. [link]

My dad is probably going to die in a couple of years. What's a good way to let him know I love him without ruining his last years with the awkwardness that saying these words to your father entails?

"blueberry bars / artifically flavored / made with real fruit" you might get the wrong idea, though. there's no blueberry in these things, it's fig and fake blueberry. yecht.

Well from what I hear, housewives stop putting out after the first baby, so they're definately different from prositutes. With hookers you actually get something for your money. That "something" is often gonorrhea, though. So I guess nobody marries for that "love" thing anymore do they?

In other words, Angela, you're saying that women are baby-crazy wealth-obsessed work-hating con artists?

With the first few of my girl friends abandoning the sistahood for marriage (some for grimmer fates than others), I have to wonder: Is a housewife any different than a well-fed prostitute with a wealth contingent severance package?

We've all seen the photos of a mob of Iraqi men and boys defiling the burnt corpses of murdered Americans. Billmon has a great piece reminding us that hateful mob violence is not just for Muslims, nor is it a sign of an unredeemable society. Those who want to nuke Fallujah should read this instead. [link]

More disturbing...was a poster about security I encountered at Newark (now renamed "Liberty") airport. The poster assured travellers that various agencies were working to protect the security of "all Americans". Very comforting, no doubt, if you happen to be one. [link]

However, finding some Russian chick desperate to leave her crappy life and thinking she loves you is an act of high delusion. Believe me, if you were Russian, she wouldn't be as attractive. [link]

"As President, I will restore honor and dignity to the White House, and set a new tone of respect and bipartisanship in Washington." [link]

i think we should flood institutionalized domain squatters with hatemail. i mean, they have to read every response because they're looking for people who want to buy the domain. the spam principle says they are expecting like a .0001% hit->buy conversion rate, if we exceed that...

Another celebrity blogger has emerged. [link]

Hooray for the value of whining on IRC. Real-time character count is the best. Three cheers for Greg.

Drew, that sucks : ( psychopath, you can use a razor blade to make incisions in your tongue, then apply valium to the cuts, and it probably absorbs faster.

Do you like talking about your fetishes? I don't.

Bush tax cut advertised in 1040 instructions: "The tax rates of 27%, 30%, 35%, and 38.6% have been reduced to 25%, 28%, 33%, and 35%, respectively." Does he really think poor people are too dumb to notice they get 7.4% decrease and richy-rich gets 9.3% discount?

"My opponent admits Saddam Hussein was a threat, he just didn't support my decision to remove Saddam from power. Maybe he was hoping Saddam would lose the next Iraqi election." Clever, snappy, and simple. If only he could apply this new-found genius to the national deficit! [link]

The Poor Man storyboards the latest Bush attack ad. [link]

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Go see it.

Some kid brought home a book about a gay prince from school, and her parents freaked out and made headlines. The choice quote is "My child is not old enough to understand something like that, especially when it's not in our beliefs" -- I don't support pollution but damn at least I believe in it. [link]

greg, thanks for convincing me to try mutt. It's definitely the best CLI email client I've ever used. It's very useful for checking mail from this machine's console.

"Eureka! No wonder you've been talking about index funds, bargain hunting, and financial planning for the past four hours! You're jewish!" is a clever personal observation. "Go back to hymie-town and eat some Matzoh!" is an ad hominem attack. Don't try to be clever if you can't tell the difference.

Is it just me or does everyone feel better when influenced by psychotrop substances?

Someone please correct me. It looks like Mohammed set up the concept of the Mahdi (a descendent of his to surface for judgement day), and ever since every loudmouth in the Muslim world has been claiming to be Mahdi. Couldn't they just canonize everyone instead of setting up a dynasty? [link]

Remember last election how CNN would pull any Bush-critical story and gleefully report any Gore snafu...my how the tables have turned! A lengthy "Bush is dumb" Blix quote is presented at the beginning of a story with a delayed attribution. yeehaw! [link]