i wonder if i've eaten any rustled cattle. probably, i've eaten like 10lbs of beef in the past week. steak is awesome but now taking a shit is like extruding some soft-serve turd ice cream. mmm, soft-serve.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god

according to the fake craigslist ads i've posted, more men are willing to allow women to vomit on them during sex than women will allow men to shit while receiving a blowjob, by a ratio of 12 (and counting) to 0. i find this utterly biased.