i wonder if i've eaten any rustled cattle. probably, i've eaten like 10lbs of beef in the past week. steak is awesome but now taking a shit is like extruding some soft-serve turd ice cream. mmm, soft-serve.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god

according to the fake craigslist ads i've posted, more men are willing to allow women to vomit on them during sex than women will allow men to shit while receiving a blowjob, by a ratio of 12 (and counting) to 0. i find this utterly biased.

i sure am a hedonist. i like drinking, sex, and sleeping a whole lot, so i'm usually willing to get in trouble or suffer consequences. and i suffer.

i married for love.. but then again, i'm married to myself.

--- stuff that nobody cares about ---

monday morning and i'm still hung over. i need to stop doing so many drugs at once.

i'm a total cyber pimp. i just went to this interview for a tech job and the guy didnt even bother asking me technical questions. im just that badass.

good luck, psychopath. may the schwartz be with you.

i made some new rules to live by. let's see how long they last.

dennis, that article about space being bluish was debunked. it's actually a boring beige color. just like my soul.

sometimes, leonard cohen is completely appropriate.

actual new york times headline today: Love Canal Declared Clean, Ending Toxic Horror.

i am soooooooooo bored and i'm not even drunk.

everybody should post more often, even if you have nothing to say!

i wonder if the things you say and do while you're drunk are actually forgiven by your friends, or if they secretly hold them against you and laugh behind your back.

star trek is so gay [link]

neil, i considered getting a lcd panel for my car for this express purpose (watching porn while driving). good thing i didn't, though, it got impounded like a month later.

i jerked off without porno last night.. it was great, but it was depressing how long it's been since ive done that. is that weird?

yesterday i had a great day. the weather was perfect, i felt great, but i was sleep deprived all weekend from buying kraftwerk tickets. woo kraftwerk! [link]

i finally got my god damned radeon card working in linux. fucking proprietary bullshit. also my nforce2 ethernet/sound are barely working with 2.6. linux sucks and so do proprietary driver vendors

i was thinking about lying to this girl so id have a reason to talk to her, and i thought up a specific lie to tell her, but the lie came true in a very ironic way and i don't know what to do about it.

how come all the women in my life are either insane or completely fucking psychotic

diariea cha cha cha

i slept through a class that i had an important paper due in today. i wrote the paper, but now i'm going to get a crappy grade on it because i'm lazy. i suck so bad.

my cat's breath smells like cat food